Today is our 1/2 way mark of living in Germany. The first 6
months were exciting and fun as we explored places. The following 6 months were
extremely tough with my brother’s death. I pretty much hated it here and wanted
nothing more than to be with my family in the states. The last 6 months have
been much better. In fact, as I sit here today, I am sad we only have 1 1/2
years left. There is still too much to see and do and not enough time. I have
made amazing friends, found a church that has challenged me in ways I did not
think possible and my relationship with Josh and the girls is stronger than
ever!
Things have not been easy here and I know I have some bad
days ahead of me but God has never left my side. My friends back in the states
often comment on how surprised they are that I am traveling, making friends,
going to local fests, etc. That does not come from me at all. After it got real
that, we were moving here, I prayed and prayed and prayed some more. I knew
myself and my shy, introvert, pessimistic attitude would make 3 years in
Germany a horrible experience. I knew my husband deserved better seen how all
he ever wanted out of the Air Force was to travel and see the world. Besides 7
deployments, all the AF gave him was Washington State. So after countless
prayers of having an open mind and heart to this move, a calmness filled me. Yes,
I was still scared and nervous but I knew it would be okay. God is by my side
all the time and with Him, anything is possible.
There have many times, especially after Jason died, that I
did not want to hang out with people and I just felt miserable and depressed. I
was mad at God for many things, I was mad I was stuck in Germany when all I
wanted was to be with my parents and friendships I once had in the states
quickly started to vanish. It was a lonely, hard time in my life and once again,
all I could do was pray. I prayed and prayed for God to give me peace. It has
took some time but I do have peace. I may not have understanding about things
that have happened but I have peace that it is all good because of God, after
all Romans 8:28 tells me that (And we know that for those who love God all
things work together for good, for those who are called according to his
purpose. ESV).
So much good has come out of our time here. Many of Josh's
deployments were to exotic, fun places and he would come back home and say how
he wished I could have been there with him. Well, the old Alethea never wanted
to travel and I was thankful he went by himself! Now that I am a changed woman,
I love traveling. I love that in 1 1/2 years Josh, the girls and myself have seen
places I had only read or heard about. We are beyond blessed at our timing of
being stationed here. We are financially able to travel and while we may not
leave Germany with a fat savings account, we are leaving with a fat memory full
of amazing places. I have a different perspective on life after living here and
seeing the places we have. The world is so much bigger than I ever realized and
that has changed my outlook on life. I am excited for the next 1 1/2 years and
the places we will see but I am scared that next June/July someone will have to
force me on a plane out of here!
